Filed under “things I need to remember more often”
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hi anxiety cat why do you describe my life so well
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Haters gonna hate
sign
‘dat gif
I regret nothing
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(Source: thefrikzone, via spongebobkristpants-deactivated)
fuck yeah tacos
(Source: dream-of-paradisee, via instagrim)
ishallsustainamassiveerection:
An old Italian gentleman lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days. Love, Paopa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Papa, Don’t dig up that garden. That’ s where the bodies are buried. Love, Vinnie
At 4 a.m. The next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Papa, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances. Love you, Vinnie
Smooth criminal?
Smooth as fuck.
BAMF
Awww.
Nice!
awwww oh my god such a sweet son ;u;
no source but i like this anyway
That’s actually a really awesome story.
(Source: catalogosphere, via marquisespinneretmindboob)
Truer words were never spoken.
ilu Betsey Johnson
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